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This time
the victims of your curiosity will learn
that there is a limit to their freedom
as they hit an obstacle, namely the lid,
over and over. After a while you can
take the lid off and you will discover
to your amazement that the fleas keep
jumping inside their 'prison' - just a
little bit short of freedom. And, if you
are not compassionate enough to tip them
out, they will probably die within this
'safe space'.
The fleas'
ability to jump high did not change -
but their willingness did. And that's
what determines the difference. And this
is pretty much the method of our own
programming too, isn't it?
Many people live their whole lives in a
'playpen' because they are so afraid of
being hurt. The sad and funny thing
about it is that they are still
constantly hurting, and they are also
missing out on all the joys life outside
the 'playpen' offers. After awhile they
forget they are even capable of 'jumping
high' and start thinking that their
comfort zone is all that there is to
life.
Once we realize that our passion for
life and adventure was squashed out of
us in early childhood and that we were
programmed to fail and be mediocre -
there is the temptation to blame others
and feel sorry for ourselves. 'When I
think of what I could have achieved if
only my parents were not so dogmatic and
unaware, I just feel so angry…' To
continue our analogy with the fleas,
this would be like sitting at the bottom
of the jar and blaming some 'external
forces' for our misery. But unlike fleas
we have the awareness and the divine
gift of conscious choice. Once you
become aware that you can jump higher
than you thought - what is the point of
complaining? Just jump!
THE COMFORT
ZONE OF THE PLAYPEN
As a matter of fact a playpen is really
a representation of the parents' comfort
zone not the baby's. Children merely
adopt the perception of the 'dangerous
world out there' presented to them by
their family. Sometimes children
willingly accept the limitations of
their freedom because they believe them
to be necessary. On other occasions they
may at first resist relating to the
world the way they are forced to, but
eventually they get used to it and don't
question it anymore. As a child grows,
so does its 'playpen' - but always under
the good supervision and regulation of
'responsible authorities'.
It is a very good idea to stop and
examine our 'comfort zones' in the
different areas of our lives. Did you
ever see a child trying to reach
something outside of its playpen? Did
that feeling of frustration the child
experienced seem somehow 'familiar' to
you? This is how many of us came to
those conclusions: 'I can't get what I
want' or 'I am not allowed', 'I am
powerless' etc.
Now consider the possibility that what
you want in your life cannot be acquired
while you are staying within the
'safety' of your 'playpen'. If you
really want it, you have to step out of
your comfort zone. Most of the time
however, we don't realise this. We were
programmed to believe that we just can't
get everything we want. We learned that
we have to cry long and loud enough to
manipulate others (with more power) to
give things to us - or be complacent
with what we've got.
What I would like to suggest is: before
you set out on the road to 'success',
paving it with frustration, sweat and
blood - examine your comfort zone first.
You probably will discover for yourself
that everything you want and don't have
is outside your 'playpen'.
We have comfort zones in every area of
our lives. If you want to know the
boundaries of these zones, reflect on
the following questions:
* What is the average amount of money I
spend on myself per month (without
feeling guilty)?
*What are the amusements I allow myself
generally?
*What are the usual choices of my
vacations?
*In what stores do I usually buy my
clothes, groceries, gifts etc.?
*What kind of car do I drive?
*What restaurants do I choose to go out
to?
*How often do I choose to go out?
*With what kind of people do I feel
comfortable?
*With how many people do I feel
comfortable talking to?
*How wide is the range of topics on
which I feel comfortable talking?
*With how many people do I feel
comfortable talking about my feelings?
*How comfortable do I feel about my
body?
*How judgmental am I about other
peoples' lifestyles?
*How comfortable do I feel when I travel
and stay in new places?
*How comfortable do I feel in a group of
people that I have just met?
*How different are my house rules from
the ones of my parents?
*How adventurous am I with the food I
eat and cook?
*How different is one day of my life
from another?
Don't do yourself a disservice by saying
that you would like to have different
answers but can't afford to or don't
have the possibility. The unpleasant
truth is you don't have the possibility
and you can't afford to because of your
answers and not the other way around.
Those toys you play with in your
fantasies are the ones outside your
playpen. You have everything right now
that you believe you can have. |
